Vintage

Well, It's crazy that it has been over a month since I last posted. Hopefully one day I will become a regular blogger :o)
Anyways, I have officially moved back up to Russellville for the summer for a discipleship program called Vintage. I really had no idea what to expect. I have to be honest and say this was probably one of  the most uncomfortable decisions I have made. I have found that I miss my family more than I ever thought possible, they are not just family they are dear friends so to be with them again and then leave again was not an easy thing. Also, I think this is one of the only programs/trips that I have been apart of where I have not had a close friend along for the ride as well. So although I am very excited about growing closer to my Vintage family, it has been a hard adjustment. The beginning of Vintage has been a bit of mixed emotions for me. I'm really not exactly sure why..but maybe it's because I went from relaxing and having zero responsibility to having a full blown schedule and on some days I feel like I never stop. But now that I've almost been here a full week, I am finding that bit of fresh air and have finally released this summer to Lord completely. I know God is already working in my heart and life and will continue to do so throughout this summer. I am ready to learn and grow and ultimately LOVE better than I ever have before. This is going to be a HUGE learning experience for me with everything that we will be doing this summer and the first big step for me will be tonight. Monday night meetings are concerts of prayer. Mark Palfreeman has passed the direction of those meetings to me. I know I need to work on my leadership skills and it is something that I have wanted to do for a long time now..but when someone looks at you and actually tells you what you are going to be leading..I think I kinda feel lost? But with the confidence that comes only from Jesus I have overcome that feeling of being "lost" and I am very excited to help walk my Vintage family through a night of confession and thanksgiving with the help of my two roommates. Prayer is one of the areas in my walk with Jesus that I wanted to grow most in this summer..so to be leading that is not just terrifying but also exciting because I know that God is going to teach me so much through this opportunity.
To those of you who supported me financially this summer or that have committed to pray for me and my Vintage family--thank you so much! Your prayers are felt and very much appreciated and they are already beginning to be answered. Pray for tonight that the presence of Jesus would be felt as we talk with Him. Pray that His voice would be heard and our hearts will be open and softened. Pray that our response would be exactly what it needs to be. Confession is a huge part of prayer and something that will be a wonderful beginning to our summer and times spent talking with Jesus.
Praying for you as well as you seek God's guidance in your own life this summer. Much love!
Sweetly broken and wholly surrendered,
Tay

Zach

                                                                                  
This is my cousin, Zach. Zach and I were born twenty days apart. He'll be turning 20 on May 10th and I'll be 20 on May 30th. It's hard to believe that we have been livin life for twenty years. I'm sure my aunt and my mom feel like it was just yesterday that we were having family get togethers and everyone was passing around the babies. ha ha good times So twenty years have passed and now, and as I reflect back to when we were kids--i just KNOW that God has blessed me with Zach as my cousin. okay, so he got me into trouble a few times..but he has also taught me a lot. Ever since we were little, Zach has been a risk taker. He is gonna do what he wants to do, and nothing you say or do will stop him. Now, we all know that THAT can get us in trouble sometimes..and I think he'll tell you that it has. But, what I have learned from him is to go after what I want and not let anything or anyone stop me.
 As I look at my life and how I have decided to follow Jesus and let His will become my will, I want just that. To be able to go after what I want (what Jesus wants for my life) with everything I have. Nothing is gonna hold me back. This attitude is such a beautiful thing in today's world..because if you look around you there are plenty of distractions and people telling you that it's not gonna work. But let me tell you something, if I serve the God who created this universe then who are they to say that what He has planned for me isn't going to work? It won't be easy, it might take some sacrifices, but if it's of the Lord..then it's RIGHT. Sure, I have no idea what my life is going to look like in a couple of years. But God does and I have found such peace in that and not only peace but such excitement because I know that if my God is for me then who can be against me?? I guess I just wanted to share the pure and simple fact that I love not being in control and that I serve a God who is painting a beautiful mural called--Taylor's life. And, all I have to do is sit back and watch Him work. Blocking out all those outside voices that are screaming at me to ask Jesus what in the world He thinks He is doing because it doesn't make sense. What I know is that it doesn't have to..cause if I could understand what God has planned for my life..then I wouldn't need Him would I? Hallelujah that I NEED Him and Hallelujah that He WANTS me!! May I become more and more everyday like a child blindfolded riding peacefully on their Daddy's shoulders because He is stronger than me and He has the best for me in mind.
Now, back to Zach. The highlight of my year? probably. He came down this past weekend to see me at Tech. I hadn't seen him in a very long time. It was so good to spend some time with him and just listen to him talk. I thank the Lord everyday for not only giving me a cousin my own age (which is a big deal..you can get bored at those family get togethers), but also giving me someone who has become my best friend. I cherish the time we do have together even though it isn't much and I love knowing that he'll be there for me always even if it is at a distance.
So all that to say-- God is good. Zach is my favorite. and...I'm excited to see what God has planned for my life!!!

i stand in awe of Jesus
Tay